Compassionate Inquiry
Nanaimo • Squamish • Online Counselling
Individual & Couples Counselling | Workshops & Intensives
Online Counselling | Telephone Counselling
Compassionate Inquiry at a Glance
Best For:
Addiction, Trauma, Anxiety, Depression, Shame
Key Benefit:
A somatic approach that uncovers the emotional roots of addiction and trauma without judgment
Session Length:
50 Minutes
Evidence Base:
Developed by Dr. Gabor Maté; trauma-informed somatic practice
Location:
Nanaimo (In-Person) & Online (BC-wide)
What is Compassionate Inquiry?
Compassionate Inquiry is a somatic, trauma-informed approach developed by Dr. Gabor Maté that reveals the unconscious beliefs driving addiction and illness.
Developed by renowned trauma expert Dr. Gabor Maté, this method operates on a powerful premise: the struggles we face, such as anxiety, relationship issues, or compulsive behaviors, began as intelligent adaptations to survive difficult experiences.
At Stone Reef, we don’t ask, “What is wrong with you?” We ask, “What happened to you, and how did this pattern help you survive?”
Is Compassionate Inquiry Right for You?
Compassionate Inquiry is helpful for people who want to understand themselves with more depth, rather than just learning skills to treat symptoms. It is effective for:
- Trauma & Attachment Wounds: Healing the disconnect between your false self and authentic self.
- Addiction & Compulsivity: Understanding the pain that the behavior is trying to soothe.
- Depression or Numbness: Feeling low, depressed, or cut off from your body, emotions, and intuition.
- Shame: Living with a relentless inner critic or deep sense of shame.
- Feeling Stuck in Life or Relationships: Repeating the same relationship or behavioral patterns despite your best efforts to change.
How It Works: The Wisdom of the Pattern
Compassionate Inquiry focuses on bringing awareness to your present-moment experience: thoughts, emotions, and especially body sensations. Rather than analyzing your life from a distance, we explore what shows up in the room right now.
We ask curious questions to bridge the gap between your current reaction and its origin, such as:
- “When was the first time you felt this tightness in your body?”
- “If this sensation could speak, what would it say?”
- “How did this pattern protect you when you were small?”
By honoring the function of the behavior, the shame dissolves. When shame dissolves, integration and change become possible.
| Feature | Standard Talk Therapy | Compassionate Inquiry |
| Focus | The Story: What happened and what you think about it. | The Body: What is happening in your nervous system right now. |
| View of Addiction | A disorder or disease to be treated. | An Intelligent Adaptation to soothe pain. |
| Technique | Cognitive analysis and advice. | Somatic Inquiry: “If this tightness in your chest could speak, what would it say?” |
| Goal | Behavioral change. | Liberation: Reconnecting with your authentic self beneath the adaptation. |
The Roadmap: What Happens in a Session?
Sessions are slow, curious, and attuned. The journey is rarely a straight line, but it often follows this flow:
Step 1: Attunement
We establish a connection of safety where you feel seen and heard without judgment.
Step 2: Accessing the Present
We move out of the story in your head and into the felt sense in your body.
Step 3: Inquiry
We use specific questions to follow the thread of the emotion and body sensations back to the negative core belief or foundational memories.
Step 4: Validating the Adaptation
We acknowledge how this pattern served you in the past (e.g., “Disconnecting saved you when it wasn’t safe to feel”).
Step 5: Liberation
Once the unconscious belief is seen and honored, its grip loosens. You gain the freedom to choose how to respond today. The space between stimulus and response, is your freedom.
Meet Our Compassionate Inquiry Clinicians
FOUNDER / THERAPIST
- Locations: Nanaimo, Online
- Specialities: Enmeshment Recovery, Sex/Porn Addiction, Process Addictions, PTSD, Complex PTSD, Mood Disorders
FAQs: Compassionate Inquiry
Dr. Gabor Maté is a globally respected physician and author (known for books like When the Body Says No and In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts). Compassionate Inquiry is the therapeutic method he developed to compassionately work with the wounds he observed in his patients over decades of practice.
No. While Dr. Maté is famous for his work on addiction, addiction in this model is defined broadly. It can include workaholism, people-pleasing, perfectionism, or scrolling on your phone. Any pattern you feel like you can’t stop that leads to negative consequences is fair game for inquiry.
No. Talking is necessary to understand and uncover unconscious belief systems, Compassionate Inquiry is heavily experiential. We don’t just talk about the problem; we try to connect you with the felt sense of it in your body. Logic often doesn’t move the needle in trauma treatment, but feeling, somatic processing, and being witnessed does.
Relive often means being flooded by emotions unsafely, which will be contained in session with grounding practices if it arises. We will process emotions and body sensations related to the past that currently cause you problems in the present. Because we work slowly and prioritize safety, you learn to tolerate these feelings without being overwhelmed by them .
Ready to Understand the Why?
If you are ready to stop fighting your patterns and start understanding them, Compassionate Inquiry offers a path to freedom.
Stone Reef Psychotherapy offers in-person sessions in Nanaimo and online options for clients across Canada.
