Trauma Counselling
Nanaimo • Squamish • Online Counselling
Individual & Couples Counselling | Workshops & Intensives
Is This You?
Living With an Outdated
Map
You may wonder why certain situations hit you so hard. Why does your body react before your mind can catch up? You might ask yourself: Why can’t I just move on?
Trauma is not just defined by the event itself. It’s how your nervous system had to adapt to survive.
When Survival Strategies Outlive Their Purpose
To protect yourself, you learned to be on guard, to shut down, or to please others. These survival strategies were intelligent at the time.
Think of them like wearing a heavy ski jacket. In a blizzard, that jacket saves your life. But if you keep wearing your ski jacket in the heat of the summer unknowingly, it becomes unbearable. The habits (your survival strategies) that once protected you in the past now get in the way of living a passionate, connected, and fulfilling life.
Common Signs of Trauma
- Intense Reactions: Feeling flooded, numb, or disconnected during normal daily stress
- Hypervigilance: Feeling on edge or tense even when things are objectively safe
- The Inner Critic: A harsh internal voice that feels protective but punishing
- Physical Disconnection: Feeling unsafe in your body or unable to identify what you feel
- Relationship Patterns: Repeating dysfunctional cycles you understand logically but can’t seem to stop
- Sleep Issues: Difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, or waking up exhausted.
- Avoidance: Steering clear of places, people, or conversations that remind you of the past
- Shame: A persistent feelings or thoughts related to defectiveness, unworthiness, or inadequacy
- Burnout: Over-functioning and staying busy to avoid feeling, followed by a crash
- Survival Mode: Living in a state of alert, waiting for the next bad thing to happen
- Addiction: Using substances or compulsive behaviors to numb intense feelings or body states
- Flashbacks: Experiencing persistent, intrusive, and distressing memories or nightmares.
Issues We Treat
Trauma from childhood related to family of origin and attachment can follow individuals throughout their lives and become an unwelcome guest blocking healthy relationships and overall life satisfaction. Stone Reef therapists utilize several evidence-based trauma approaches to help you make sense of your past and give you the skills you need to understand your patterns and move forward in life and relationships confidently.
Many traumatized individuals struggle with the triggering emotional residue of traumatic memories. At Stone Reef, we are trained in both EMDR and ART to desensitize and reprocess traumatic memories. We pair eye movement therapy with other models such as DBT, IFS, CBT, and psychodynamic therapy to provide you with a robust approach to trauma recovery.
Individuals who experience betrayal can have identical symptoms that fit the clinical presentation of PTSD. Specialized support is needed to help heal the wounds of betrayal and regain trust in the self after gaslighting and other forms of emotional abuse. Stone Reef therapists have been trained by pioneers in the betrayal trauma field, Dr. Kevin Skinner and Dr. Stefanie Carnes, and can help you move forward.
Our Approach to Trauma Counselling
Healing isn’t linear, so having a map helps. At Stone Reef, we guide you through three phases of recovery.
Phase 1:
Safety & Stabilization
Phase 2:
Processing & Desensitization
Trauma often lingers in the body. We use structured therapies like EMDR and ART to reprocess your traumatic memories so they lose their emotional charge. We may also use IFS to understand the survival strategies you use to protect yourself. The goal isn’t to re-live the pain, it’s about learning new ways to integrate your memories and triggers so they no longer control you.
Phase 3:
Reconnection
As your trauma loosens its grip, we focus on your life moving forward. We use CBT and Psychodynamic Therapy to help you rewrite the story you believe about yourself into a version that is empowering. This phase is about rebuilding trust in your instincts, strengthening boundaries, reconnecting to community, and moving from reacting to the past to responding to the present.
Meet Our Trauma Therapist Team
FOUNDER / THERAPIST
- Locations: Nanaimo, Online
- Specialities: Enmeshment Recovery, Sex/Porn Addiction, Process Addictions, PTSD, Complex PTSD, Mood Disorders
ADDICTION & TRAUMA THERAPIST
- Locations: Nanaimo, Online
- Specialties: Substance Addiction, Sex/Porn Addiction, PTSD
FAQs: Trauma Counselling
Understanding Your Experience
Trauma is not just about what happened to you; it is about how your body and mind responded to it. If you experienced a distressing event (like an accident, abuse, or sudden loss) and now feel overwhelmed, stuck, or unable to cope, that is trauma. Common signs include flashbacks, avoiding reminders, feeling on edge, or feeling numb.
Yes. This is often a sign of Complex Trauma, which comes from repeated exposure to difficult events (like neglect or abuse) rather than a single shock. When trauma is ongoing, the brain sometimes “blocks out” memories to survive. If you struggle with trust, emotional regulation, or self-esteem without knowing exactly why, it may be linked to early complex trauma.
Stress usually goes away when the pressure stops. Anxiety is ongoing worry about the future. Trauma is a biological change in how your brain responds to danger. It often involves flashbacks, physical reactivity (fight/flight/freeze), and a deep sense of unsafety that doesn’t match your current reality.
Absolutely. Early trauma shapes how the brain develops and how we form relationships. Many adults find that they struggle with trust, self-worth, or physical health issues decades later. Therapy helps re-wire these old patterns so they don’t have to run your adult life.
The Therapy Process
No. This is a common fear, but healing does not require you to re-live every graphic detail. We use “Trauma-Informed Practice,” which prioritizes your safety and choice. Therapies like EMDR and Somatic Experiencing allow us to process the impact of the trauma without necessarily having to verbally describe the entire event.
It is normal to feel tired or emotional after a session, as you are processing heavy material. However, we move at a pace that ensures you are not re-traumatized. Our first priority is “stabilization”—giving you tools to handle distress before we do deep work.
beyond just “talk therapy.” We use evidence-based methods including Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), and somatic (body-based) therapies to help the nervous system release stuck energy.
Logistics & Practical Support
There is no set timeline. Some people feel relief from specific symptoms within months, while others engage in longer-term work to heal complex history. The goal isn’t to erase the memory, but to make it manageable so you can live a full, meaningful life.
We believe help should be accessible. In BC, you can access free or low-cost counseling through VictimLink BC (for victims of crime), Foundry BC (for youth), or community mental health programs via your regional health authority. If you have been injured at work, WorkSafeBC may also provide coverage.
Yes. Research shows online trauma therapy is just as effective as in-person. Many clients actually find it safer to process difficult memories from the comfort of their own home.
If you are in crisis, please reach out to:
- BC Crisis Line: 310-6789 (no area code needed)
- VictimLink BC: 1-800-563-0808 (24/7 support)
- KUU-US Crisis Line: 1-800-588-8717 (Indigenous-specific support)
